so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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