My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
