So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
