I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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