Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
