She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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