so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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