but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
