and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
