You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Shame - the story of my life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
