Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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