I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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