I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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