She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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