"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
