So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
