thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
