tell your sister to shave her snatch
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
