From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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