3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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