some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I smell stomach acid.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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