And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
