Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How's work?
Spinning.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
