He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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