Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
