I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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