So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
