He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the day after is always just damage control
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
