okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
