Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
