please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
