eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
