I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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