He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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