U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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