I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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