At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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