In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
