it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
