with your own penis?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
