doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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