Just mADE A PArabola og urine
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
