Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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