He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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