Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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