This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
