I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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