I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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