guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
