I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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