Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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