yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
