Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
