Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
