Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
